decisions…

Sometimes you just have to decide. There’s no more wavering, just a decision to be made. Sometimes circumstances force you to, then it’s very relieving, but other times you just have way too much room for indecision. You have too much time and/or too many options. How to decide?

Making decisions can be a difficult task – it might even seem unsurmountable at times. You are going to have to live with the consequences of your decision, worse yet, somebody else might have to live with the consequences. Oh, the responsibility! Your solution: RUN!! run from the torture of having to make any decision. Run from the risk of having to carry any responsibility. or…

here’s my two cents worth: as hard as it is to make a decision, it can get easier. “How?” you may ask. Well, that’s simple, the same way most other things become easier: practice. The more you make decisions, the easier it is, the more you try to avoid them, the more intimidating they become.

So, here’s the deal: begin with little decisions. Practice just deciding, ONCE, and sticking to that decision. “chocolate or vanilla?” chocolate! and now stick with that decision! There’s no “or maybe…”. DO NOT second guess yourself! Once you’ve practiced with a few smaller decisions, take the challenge of one bigger decision: Am I going to go out with my friends friday night, or not? whatever you decide, remember: stick to that decision!! (this one will be especially difficult, ’cause it involves other people, people who are going to try and influence your decision-making).
(remember, this is an exercise to help you actually MAKE a decision, it doesn’t mean that every decision you make HAS to be final; but when practicing, try and make them final, that will help you prevent the flip-flop behavior, the indecisiveness.)

I recently heard someone say: “you don’t make a right decision; you make a decision, and then you MAKE IT RIGHT!”

Too many people get stuck in their holes of indecisiveness, don’t join them!

don’t turn “this stress” into “distress”

By popular demand (that is, one person’s request), today’s topic is “stress”.
Having already had this in the back of my mind for the past week, it’s funny that just today my life should be humored by the mail I received. Today the mailman (or woman, I’m not quite sure) left me two letters (that’s right, not one, but two). One sender I was familiar with, the other I had but a faint guess at who it might be (but knowing it must be something of importance since they required confirmation of delivery). Well, to spare you any more elaboration on the stories: they were both bills. big ones. One completely unexpected, the other somewhat unexpected (“somewhat”, since I didn’t expect this bill to hit until February or March). And to give you and idea why this might be of any significance (or relevance to this blog): I’m completely blank. (yes, I saved and spent every last penny on what’s most important to me, and that’s the opportunity to go spend some time with my wonderful girlfriend). Both of these bills that just paved their way into my life on this dreary late autumn day exceed my current monthly wage. Additionally the sender of the completely unexpected bill been so kind as to offer me six days to hand over the mulah before they take me to court.

So, can you see how this might possibly be a stressor in my life right now? Now I believe I have gained the credibility to write about this topic…

Since this isn’t a paper, but rather a blog post, I’ll try not to elaborate too much, but just give you a little food for thought.

I found this explanation/definition of stress in the internet “Stress is a biological term which refers to the consequences of the failure of a human or animal body to respond appropriately to emotional or physical threats to the organism, whether actual or imagined.” (from The Stress Of Life, Hans Selye, as quoted in Wikipedia) The first thing this statement tells us, is that stress is a response. Recently I was listening to Jack Canfield as he was talking about his favorite formula: E + R = O . That is, “Event + Response = Outcome”. This means, the outcome isn’t merely determined by what happens to you, but also (and perhaps largely) by the way you respond to that. Which brings us to the famous quote by the Greek philosopher Epictetus “it’s not what happens to you, it’s how you react to it that matters.” Many times we can’t control the event – the circumstance, the situation, whatever it is that is happening or has happened to us, but if we don’t like the outcome, we DO have the choice about how we respond to that event. Now if stress is a response, this means that we can choose to either have it or not have it. The event itself (whether it be a task or a situation) is not the stress, our response to this event determines whether or not we experience stress.

Stress relievers: here are a few things that might help you in dealing with stressful situations (or things to do once you feel stressed)
- be thankful: think of all the blessings in your life, begin to write them down, and remind yourself daily
- do sports: a great way to vent some of that crazyness building up inside you
- listen to music: either something uplifting, or something that identifies with your situation (I don’t recommend depressing or hateful music/lyrics)
- eat some chocolate: a little, now don’t overdo it! but a few happy endorphins might just work a miracle
- read Calvin and Hobbes: or any type of humor that can get you at least chuckling, at best rolling on the floor.
- put it in perspective: my mother would always quote my grandmother saying “what’s that compared to eternity?!”. now, since our little brains don’t do well thinking in terms of eternity, we might take up the suggestion of Darren Hardy (Publisher of Success magazine) to ask yourself “In 20 years will this matter” (do you remember what you were stressed about on November 19th, 1988? well, there you go!). Another point he makes in the article is “at least I don’t live in Bosnia” – a thought that came to mind after he’d been stressed about something and then turned on the TV and seen the news. When you realize the problems some people face, you’ll realize how minute some of the things you worry about are. What gets me is thinking back to the time I spent in Thailand: meeting the girls there who’d been at risk of being sold into prostitution by their families, seeing them smiling and enjoying life, praising God, makes me realize that my problems most of the time aren’t even worth mentioning. If they can praise God after all they’ve gone through, who am I to complain?!

Remember:
You choose how you view a situation: you can view it as a challenge, an opportunity to grow – greatness is often birthed in arduous circumstances. If it’s pressure – that’s how diamonds are shaped; If it’s resistance – that’s how muscles are built; if it’s opposition blowing straight in your face – that’s how a sail can chart a new course. You choose.

If you still feel the need to read more about stress or avoiding it, the google search for stress came up with over 160million results, “avoid stress” turned out almost 2 million results, and “prevent stress” came back with over 2.5 million results – so there’s plenty of info (personally I would recommend the article by Darren Hardy mentioned above, and the second one about building resilience to stress).

WWW: Walk With the Wise!

Proverbs 13:20 tells us “He who walks with the wise will become wise”

So today I would like to encourage you to “walk with the wise”. What does it mean to “walk with the wise”. Going for a stroll in the park? Why not. But I believe “walk” includes more than using your legs to put one foot in front of the other. More than walking, it means spending time with, listening to, observing, and learning from the wise. Do this, and you will gradually assimilate their knowledge, their behavior, their wisdom. (but beware, this also works in reverse when you spend time with fools).
How do I do this? Ok, admittedly, not all of us have free access to a vast pool of wise people all around us (some are more fortunate than others in that regard). You of course can make an effort to seek out a wise person you might learn from in your surroundings (church, work, school etc.), but even if you don’t think you can find someone like that (or you can’t yet pluck up the courage to do so), you can learn from the wise in various ways: read, watch, and listen.
There is plenty literature out there with words from the wise just waiting for you to tap in and absorb the wisdom. I’ve started reading and I can tell you that it’s been an amazing blessing. Recent highlights include
- “Confessions of a Pastor” Craig Groeschel
- “The 21 Indespensable Qualities of a Leader” John Maxwell
- “Chazown” Craig Groeschel
- “I’m Proud of You” Tim Madigan
- “Calvin and Hobbes – It’s a magical world” Bill Watterson
I would recommend the above to any and everyone. In addition to that, I’ve picked up a subscribtion to a magazine that has begun to change my outlook on life and give me all kinds of new ideas. Another read that I would highly recommend to anyone:
- “SUCCESS Magazine”
The magazine is about success in life, not just one area, but a roundabout approach: finances, health, and relationships. It’s filled with encouraging articles about people who made it (despite the odds), and interviews with people who’ve lived a successful life (one of the guys who has most impressed me is Paul J. Meyer).
Of course, if you’re looking for wisdom, there is one important source you’ll have to tap into; yes, that’s right:
- “The Bible”
Irrefutable, indispensable,  indescribable, incredible (yet absolutely credible), undeniable: the Word of God.

Ok, so we’ve covered reading, but what if I don’t like to read? What if I (think I) don’t have the time to read? What if I can’t find those books in my local bookstore? My friend, there’s a solution for you! A wonderful little thing called “podcasts”. They’re free, they’re available, and they’re waiting for you to download them.
I just did a little browsing and found some great material that should definitely get you going. Here are a some to check out:
- lifechruch.tv (Message Series: Audio)
- “Inspiring Words of Encouragement” (Zig Ziglar)
- “The Leadership Moment Podcast” (1min podcasts, for those who claim they don’t have time…)
- “Maximum Impact Podcast” (you’ll have to weave through the blah of the hosts)
- “The 21 Irrefutable Laws Of Leadership” (John Maxwell)
…just to name a few.

Just reading or listening doesn’t do it for you? Well, for you, too, there’s hope. Observe. Watch those people you think highly of. What are they doing that you would like to do? What are they doing that makes them successful in life? Watch them interact with other people. Observe how they tackle tasks/assignments.
Don’t think you have anyone you can watch or observe? Alright, we’re back to podcasts – because guess what: there’s video podcasts! For that TV generation out there Just watch and let it sink in.

So here’s for today: if you want to be wise, “walk with the wise” !

(please feel free to leave any comments, questions, or suggestions)